-- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be
a young June bug than an old bird of paradise.
-- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
It is necessary now to hunt up Roxy.
At the time she was set free and went away chambermaiding,
she was thirty-five.
But she was back in a hour. The bank had gone to smash and
carried
her four hundred dollars with it. She was a pauper and homeless.
Also disabled bodily, at least for the present. The officers were
full of sympathy for her in her trouble, and made up a little purse
for her.
Page 95
place; she had friends there
among the Negros, and the unfortunate always help the unfortunate,
she was well aware of that; those lowly comrades of her youth would
not let her starve.
She took the little local packet at Cairo, and now she was on
the homestretch.
Her poverty! That thought inspired her to add another castle to her
dream:
maybe he would give her a trifle now and then --
Page 96
maybe a dollar,
once a month, say; any little thing like that would help, oh,
ever so much.
She went to Judge Driscoll's kitchen first of all. She was received
there in great form and with vast enthusiasm.
Page 97
questions, with laughter, exclamations of delight, and expressions
of applause; and she was obliged to confess to herself that if there
was anything better in this world than steamboating, it was the
glory to be got by telling about it. The audience loaded her
stomach
with their dinners, and then stole the pantry bare to load up her basket.
Tom was in St. Louis. The servants said he had spent the best part of his time there during the previous two years. Roxy came every day, and had many talks about the family and its affairs. Once she asked why Tom was away so much. The ostensible "Chambers" said:
"No, is dat so? Chambers, you's a-jokin', ain't you?"
"'Clah to goodness I ain't, Mammy; Marse Tom tole me so his own self. But nemmine, 'tain't enough."
"Well, I's gwine to tell you, if you gimme a chanst, Mammy. De reason it ain't enough is 'ca'se Marse Tom gambles."
Roxy threw up her hands in astonishment, and Chambers went on:
"Ole marster found it out, 'ca'se he had to pay two hundred dollahs for Marse Tom's gamblin' debts, en dat's true, Mammy, jes as dead certain as you's bawn."
"Two -- hund'd dollahs! Why, what is you talkin' 'bout?
Two -- hund'd -- dollahs.
"It's God's own truth, jes as I tell you -- two hund'd dollahs --
I wisht I may never stir outen my tracks if it ain't so.
En, oh, my lan', ole Marse was jes a-hoppin'! He was b'ilin' mad,
I tell you!
"Dissenhurrit him."
"What's dat? What do you mean?"
"Means he bu'sted de will."
"Bu's -- ted de will! He wouldn't ever treat him so! Take it back,
Roxy's pet castle -- an occasional dollar from Tom's pocket -- was tumbling to ruin before her eyes. She could not abide such a disaster as that; she couldn't endure the thought of it. Her remark amused Chambers.
"Yah-yah-yah! Jes listen to dat!
"Shet up yo' foolin', 'fo' I knock you side de head, en
"Well, 'tain't -- 'ca'se dey's a new one made, en Marse Tom's all right ag'in. But what is
"'Tain't none o' my business?
"Well, den,
Yes, she was satisfied now, and quite happy and sentimental over it.
She kept coming daily, and at last she was told that Tom had come home.
She began to tremble with emotion, and straightway sent to beg him
to let his
Tom was stretched at his lazy ease on a sofa when Chambers brought the petition. Time had not modified his ancient detestation of the humble drudge and protector of his boyhood; it was still bitter and uncom-
"What does the old rip want with me?"
The petition was meekly repeated.
"Who gave you permission to come and disturb me with the social attentions of niggers?"
Tom had risen. The other young man was trembling now, visibly.
He saw what was coming, and bent his head sideways, and put up his
left arm to shield it. Tom rained cuffs upon the head and its shield,
saying no word: the victim received each blow with a beseeching,
"Please, Marse Tom! -- oh, please, Marse Tom!" Seven blows -- then Tom said,
"Face the door -- march!" He followed behind with one, two,
three solid kicks.
Then he flung himself panting on the sofa again, and rasped out the remark, "He arrived just at the right moment; I was full to the brim with bitter thinkings, and nobody to take it out of. How refreshing it was! I feel better."
"You heah dat? Jes the same old Marse Tom, al'ays so gay and funnin' wid de ole mammy. I'uz jes as shore -- "
"Cut it short, I tell you, and get along! What do you want?"
This was a bitter disappointment.
Page 104
sich hard luck dese days;
en she's kinder crippled in de arms and can't work, en if you could
gimme a dollah -- on'y jes one little dol -- "
Tom was on his feet so suddenly that the supplicant was startled into a jump herself.
"A dollar! -- give you a dollar! I've a notion to strangle you! Is that your errand here? Clear out! And be quick about it!"
Roxy backed slowly toward the door. When she was halfway she stopped, and said mournfully:
Tom relished this tune less than any that he preceded it, for it began to wake up a sort of echo in his conscience; so he interrupted and said with decision, though without asperity, that he was not in a situation to help her, and wasn't going to do it.
"No! Now go away and don't bother me any more."
Roxy's head was down, in an attitude of humility. But now the fires
of her old wrongs flamed up in her breast and began to burn fiercely.
She raised her head slowly, till it was well up, and at the same time
her great frame unconsciously
"You has said de word. You has had yo' chance, en you has trompled it under yo' foot. When you git another one, you'll git down on yo' knees en beg for it!"
A cold chill went to Tom's heart, he didn't know why; for he did not
reflect that
"You'll give me a chance -- you ! Perhaps I'd better get down on my knees now! But
"Dis is what is gwine to happen,
Tom's cheek blenched, and she saw it. Disturbing thoughts
began to chase each other through his head. "How can she know?
And yet she must have found out -- she looks it.
Then he worked up a rather sickly sample of a gay laugh and a hollow chipperness of manner, and said:
"Well, well, Roxy dear, old friends like
He held out the wildcat bill; she stood as she was, and made no movement. It was her turn to scorn persuasive foolery now, and she did not waste it. She said, with a grim implacability in voice and manner which made Tom almost realize that even a former slave can remember for ten minutes insults and injuries returned for compliments and flatteries received, and can also enjoy taking revenge for them when the opportunity offers:
"What does I know?
Tom was aghast.
"More?" he said, "What do you call more? Where's there any room for more?"
Roxy laughed a mocking laugh, and said scoffingly, with a toss of her head, and her hands on her hips:
"Yes! -- oh, I reckon! co'se you'd like to know -- wid yo' po' little
ole rag dollah. What you reckon I's gwine to tell you for? --
you ain't got no money. I's gwine to tell yo'
Page 108
uncle -- en I'll do it
dis minute, too -- he'll gimme FIVE dollahs for de news, en mighty glad, too."
She swung herself around disdainfully, and started away. Tom was in a panic. He seized her skirts, and implored her to wait. She turned and said, loftily:
"Look-a-heah, what 'uz it I tole you?"
"You -- you -- I don't remember anything. What was it you told me?"
"I tole you dat de next time I give you a chance you'd git down on yo' knees en beg for it."
Tom was stupefied for a moment. He was panting with excitement. Then he said:
"Oh, Roxy, you wouldn't require
"I'll let you know mighty quick whether I means it or not!
You call me names, en as good as spit on me when I comes here,
po' en ornery en 'umble, to praise you for bein' growed up so
fine and handsome, en tell you how
Tom slumped to his knees and began to beg, saying:
"You see I'm begging, and it's honest begging, too! Now tell me, Roxy, tell me."
Tom did it. He said, humbly:
"Now, Roxy, don't punish me any more. I deserved what I've got,
but be good and let me off with that.
"Yes, I bet you will; en you won't stop dah, nuther. But I ain't gwine to tell you heah -- "
"Is you 'feared o' de ha'nted house?"
"N-no."
"Well, den, you come to de ha'nted house 'bout ten or 'leven tonight, en climb up de ladder, 'ca'se de sta'rsteps is broke down, en you'll find me. I's a-roostin' in de ha'nted house 'ca'se I can't 'ford to roos' nowher's else." She started toward the door, but stopped and said, "Gimme de dollah bill!" He gave it to her. She examined it and said, "H'm -- like enough de bank's bu'sted." She started again, but halted again. "Has you got any whisky?"
"Yes, a little."
"Fetch it!"
He ran to his room overhead and brought down a bottle which was two-thirds full. She tilted it up and took a drink. Her eyes sparkled with satisfaction, and she tucked the bottle under her shawl, saying, "It's prime. I'll take it along."
Tom humbly held the door for her, and she marched out